One man's throw-away is another man's Kristin Scott Thomas.

I recently sat down to watch “Four Weddings and a Funeral” for the first time in a very long time. It reminded me of two forgotten facts:

This is a very good movie.

And

Sometimes, I wish I were Hugh Grant, minus the whole prostitute thing.



I found that having gone so long without seeing it; I had forgotten much about the plot and characters. One of the main things I had forgotten was Kristin Scott Thomas’ playing “Fiona”, the dejected friend to Grant’s “Charlie” who also happens to be secretly in love with him. The scene that struck me (and inspired this post) was the one in which Fiona confesses to Charlie that he, in fact, is the same bloke “she’s been in love with for ages”. Her confession is followed by an exchange between herself and Charlie that calls to mind a quandary that presently has me bogged down in my own pursuit of love. They continue to discuss the situation in a manner in which not only the fact that her love is unrequited is understood but also that seems to excuse the situation as being out of their own control. As in, Fiona does not seem to feel as though Charlie does not love her because she lacks lovable qualities, but rather because the nature of attraction is so that it falls outside of choice as to when, where, and for whom it strikes. Secondly, I found myself struck at the fact that, while she was purposed to seem ordinary in this role, Kristin Scott Thomas is amazing. I could not avoid the typical “If I were Charlie…” boat because if I were Charlie, I would have ditched both “Carrie” and “Duck-face” (stupid duck-face) for her. For me, Fiona would have ended the discussion, but for Charlie she was not enough.

This struck me as I have recently experienced the end of a relationship for which no quantifiable reason exists. In this particular situation, the girl and myself seemed to possess all the necessary ingredients for a healthy, long-lasting relationship while, at the same time, lacking that driving, nagging, swelling desire to be a part of one another’s every moment of consciousness that we often call love. Therefore, both being in our late twenties and not at all interested in pursuing something so obviously frivolous, we decided it should end sooner rather than later regardless of the fact that there were no immediate cause for it to be so.

So, my quandary lies with the nature of attraction. I have felt what our society calls “being in love”, but the older I get, the more I wonder if the emotions and magnetism that we are taught as indicators of true love are really so. What is the nature of legitimate attraction?

I have friends who have wives or girlfriends that they think hung the moon; whereas, I would see no romantic quality to them. The flipside, I have dated girls that I were absolutely floored by whilst others simply yawned them off as ordinary girls?

Why is one man’s throw-away another man’s Kristin Scott Thomas?

cheers
Zeius