I’ve been thinking a lot about a conversation Herodotus and I had during Blog Summit 2008 in Savannah. We were discussing women, relationships, and such when I revealed what, to him, was an astonishing revelation. I told him that I had yet to fart in front of my girlfriend. He responded with the question “Then how do you know if the relationship is real or not?”. I, then, revealed that passing gas is something I’ve always tried to avoid regardless of the length and depth of the relationship in question, and his response birthed an internal conversation I’ve been having over the last few weeks. One that has culminated with the following:
If the emotional oil to the engine of relationship is humility, and humility toward someone is only attained through true vulnerability to the same, how could I have ever counted a relationship real without ever compromising myself to the point of even something so menial, and often comical, as timely flatulence?
Further, if vulnerability is the springboard for true spiritual/emotional growth with someone and spiritual/emotional growth the only real way to ensure the longevity of a relationship, how could I have ever expected to openly seek the face of God with a woman through prayer, confession, etc...if I lack the stones to even gas her every now and then?
So I realized the irony in that we close ourselves off in order to avoid being vulnerable to the emotional loss of being left by someone we love while vulnerability is the most needful quality if one hopes to avoid such a loss.
I guess no one ever said it would be fair or easy.
cheers
Zeius
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3 comments:
dr.z- thoughts:
1. i wouldn't necessarily say vulnerability was the primary issue here for me. rather, i believe it to be one of honesty. the reality is that we all do it...man or woman...and it sets false expectations to never 'let loose', while dating...knowing that, when married...and living together...inevitability sets in. in fact...the vulnerable one here is the one getting gassed...not doing the gassing. which leads me to...
2. for all of you ladies out there...i'm not suggesting that we men 'dutch-oven' ya'll in the first weeks of dating to prove a larger point. respect is also an issue here...i just think, again, that it sets false expectations.
3. finally...renee zellwegger(sp?) very unexpectedly divorced kenny chesney on the basis of fraud a few years ago. now...there were rumours that he was gay...but isn't it possible he just had an incredible, but undisclosed, gastro-intestinal prowess?
I was wondering how long it would take for the term "dutch oven" to show up.
H,
Your first point is interesting but begs the question, are not the two (honesty and vulnerablility) related terms? I believe this to be true. If one is honest they must admit some degree of vulnerability. Even if that vulnerability is as menial as being ticklish. Additionally, being an open-book, for lack of a better term, which could be taken as pure honesty (no disguises or defenses)does require that one be comfortable with their vulnerability. The opposite of vulnerability and honesty is first pride, then callousness and deciet. No matter what the issue--flatulence or faithfulness--one needs a hearty dose of selflessness overall. In defense of the gastro-intestinal extrovert, this can work both ways.
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